you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize