How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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