I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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