Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
