is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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