Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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