i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
