She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so much tequila, so little girl.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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