I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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