So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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