She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
