Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
