I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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