Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
