I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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