I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
