clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
