i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
