i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
