Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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