he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
