WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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