what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
