So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
