he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
