i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think i got beer on your cat.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
