.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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