So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
