didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
