So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
