How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
