Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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