she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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