i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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