I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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