it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
