Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
