I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
