i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
