So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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