i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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