508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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