He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
