Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
