i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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