You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
