Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
