I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize