it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
