belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
