??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the condom got lost in my hair
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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