this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
