As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
