At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
