it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
