all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
worst night to have a conscience
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
