My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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