Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
