do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
