Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
