Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
