just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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