I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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