Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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