there's paper in my vomit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
