Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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