i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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