Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
