I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
