It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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