All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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