Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
