Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
