I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
