Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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