her vagine was all disorganized.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
