I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
